What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize