His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize