Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
