I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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