i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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