dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
