walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
