Sry I called you an 8
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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