How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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