This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My penis needs a shock collar
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
