That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
