I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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