Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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