I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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