sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
