i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
