I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i need some magic done to my vagina
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
