I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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