I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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