But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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