I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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