absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
