Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
