i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
