its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
