I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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