i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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