we're blogging at a bar
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
