They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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