At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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