are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
