I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
In America we eat man semen.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
