Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
