At least make sure they are 18
Why
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
