So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
