You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
