HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
