How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize