Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize