Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
