what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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