dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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