Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We named our party play list daddy issues
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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