My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
