I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
