Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
