I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
