What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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