is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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