last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
