OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
