She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
