i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize