It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
