We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
