16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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