how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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