I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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