lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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