Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize